Agree to disagree? Shall we.

 I was on a phone call the other night with my friend talking about a wide range of things. We spoke about politics, love, life goals, relationships, and literally anything and everything under the sun. The conversation happened to go on for quite a lot of time simply because we disagreed on every single thing we that we spoke about. But the most interesting part of the conversation was when my friend raised the age-old thought that has been passed down to us from generations and generations.

“Disagreeing with someone means that we hate them and loving someone means that we agree with everything they say.” Well, funnily enough, this was the only topic where we agreed with each other strongly. Of course, this is absolutely incorrect and such a toxic thought that has been ingrained into us. 

Disagreeing with someone clearly just depicts that we are not compatible with or that we are challenging the thought of the person but not the person itself. This boundary is so blurred that people often misunderstand disagreeing with disrespecting.

Well if that’s the case, I wouldn’t be friends with half of the people I consider my very good friends. Life is all about seeking new perspectives and gaining insight into things that we lack awareness. I mean don't we as Indians stand for unity in diversity?

Being empathetic listeners is the key to understanding why a person takes a particular stand and this really helps us further to be open-minded enough to understand new perspectives.

One must begin to differentiate conviction with compassion and learn that it is possible to disagree respectfully.

I feel the key to personal growth is to absorb and understand differences as a means to improve in life and not as a tool to hurt the ego one has. People are bound to have different perspectives but the underlying aspect that keeps us together is that we are all human, and when it comes down to helping one another I am certain we won’t consider the party the person casts a vote too and the God they choose to pray. There are billions of people in this world and each one of us is entitled to our informed opinion. Therefore there are bound to be differences. Adapting to new perspectives not only helps us broaden our horizons but also enables us to be more compassionate towards fellow humans.

But what if it affects a relationship you ask? Sure it may if the person In front of us chooses to identify themselves and define us with the ideology that one considers wrong. Instead, if we keep in mind that the person can have a different opinion and still be far beyond that opinion on a human level we are taking an active step towards acceptance.

Arguments are natural and inevitable when there is a disagreement but the fear of arguments shouldn’t stop us from starting a conversation. If it does lead that way then we are always in control to change the course of the conversation and politely make the person understand the other perspective. If the ideology is grossly harmful to a community or a person then one must take it upon themselves to educate the person either by means of an argument or factual explanation.

Disagreeing only brings in new perspectives and broadens one’s horizon. Agreeing to everything one says isn’t a love language and shouldn’t be considered one as well. Agreeing with someone at the cost of compromising on one's individuality shouldn’t be depicted as love or a healthy way to be with someone. A relationship is successful only if differences are encouraged and individuality is put on a pedestal.

A different perspective is an attack on the idea the person possesses but not the person. This boundary must be made clear and ideas shouldn’t be confused with identity. Disagreement is a way to increase compassion and acceptance. If one chooses to understand this then relationships can flourish even after grave disagreements.

We ended this conversation on a discussion as to which one of us is a  morning or night person. We successfully disagreed on this as well but wished each other goodnight and had a sound sleep.